#015: How to Stop Running Ragged and Start Making Friends. Interview with Joel Boggess [podcast]

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Have you ever had this experience when you met someone? You say, “Hello, John, how are you?” John replies, “Busy. Crazy busy. You know with all the stuff of life. But it sure beats the option of being bored.”

You reply, “Yeah. Life is busy. I am super busy and tonight we have 3 activities to juggle. Good chatting.”

How often do we check email? Do you ever check your email on your phone right before you go to sleep? Don’t we expect people to answer our email in less than 4 hours?

How do we get off the busyness merry go round?

Photo by Mark Round

Photo by Mark Round

Now for clarity, I am huge fan of getting lots done. If you ask my family about this time of year, we are ready for the fall rain to start here in Oregon. Why? Because we LOVE working outside in the garden, fixing the land, building a new playhouse, etc. But, we equally love the rhythm of Oregon, where you get to slow down and rest, once the rains start.

Think about the busy beaver. We all encourage our kids and each other to by busy beavers. To be doing, doing, and doing. We say, “look at the beaver and how he can build such an amazing dam!”  This is great, yet, have you seen how destructive a beaver can be? Sometimes the dams are in the wrong place and cause all sorts of damage to those around them. They can kill beautiful trees that they don’t really need for their dam. So can busy people.

Do we know why we are chewing on this tree? Do we know what we plan to do with this tree once we bring it down? Have we noticed how this dam we built is effecting those around us? Often we feel important because we can boast about  how busy we are.

Recently I was hell-bent on finishing a project, and I was chewing away like a mad man. It was a group project. One day, I was super tired and I knew that we could not meet my artificial deadline, so I got super mad at those working with me. I told them,  “I quit,” (very childishly, I am embarrassed to say) and helped them feel my anger and discouragement.

By doing this, I set those relationships back because I was so busy and had no margin to care more about the people than the project. That time and those words are lost forever and I can’t change them even though we all dove in to finish the project.

 

“It’s not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted.”-Mark O’Connor

Joel Boggess Interview

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In today’s podcast, we are going to hear from Joel Boggess about gaining the ability to turn off busyness, and defining our reason for being so busy.

 

Joel has had years of successfully helping people reach clarity in their goals.  He shares the following tips to make friends:

 

  1. Find a safe place without judgment or grading to allow yourself the freedom to be you and move forward.
  2. Move from “stuck” to “free” by not allowing the negative influences to stop you.
  3. Challenge your assumptions about relationship to find the truth, and don’t blindly keep doing the same thing.
  4. Define the difference between beliefs and rules.  Rules are often put there by others, not ourselves.
  5. Understand the different seasons of life, and how go with them, not against them.

His book was just released yesterday!  Today, Nov 6th, if you buy his book, he will add a ton of bonus material along with it.  Here is the link:  www.FYVbook.com

 

Here is the video about our love affair with our phone:

Here is a great article about being so busy,  New York Times Article by Tim Kreider

Question: If you could drop one thing to make more room in your life, what would you drop?

 

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